$EMPLOYEDhe has a job.
A sleepy horse in a yellow hardhat holds his hammer upside down at a construction site
★ THE ECONOMY NEEDED A HORSE ★

HORSE
WITH A JOB.

Four hooves. One job.
Absolutely no idea what he's doing.

MEET THE EMPLOYEE
EST. MONDAY MORNING SCROLL TO CLOCK IN ↓
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PROFESSIONAL HORSE

BIG JOB.
SMALL BRAIN.

He showed up. He put on the hat.
Honestly? That's already a lot.
Please don't ask for his résumé.

09:00 AMTHE OFFICE GUY
The horse slowly types at a purple office desk beside an enormous coffee mugper my last neigh.

Very business.

Sent one email. Needs a raise.

11:30 AMTHE SITE MANAGER
The horse proudly stands with a shovel beside a tiny pile of sand at a silly building siteyeah. i built that.

Much construction.

Moved some dirt. Changed the world.

11:31 AMTHE BREAK SPECIALIST
The horse lounges in a wheelbarrow drinking coffee under a pink sunsetunion mandated.

Earned this.

One minute of work. A lifetime of rest.

PERFORMANCE REVIEW

Effort: 10/10

Skills: horse

Still employed: somehow ✓

THE INTERNET'S LEAST QUALIFIED WORKFORCE

CLOCK IN.
HORSE OUT.

You don't need a résumé.
You just need to be a little stupid with us.

EMPLOYEE IDENTIFICATIONNO. 0001
Employee portrait of Horse With A Job
NAMEHorse With A JobPOSITIONYes.PAYMENT$EMPLOYED
APPROVED.
somehow.
CONTRACT ADDRESS (CA)

COMING SOON — STILL DOING THE PAPERWORK.

PAPERWORK IN PROGRESS

HR IS ON IT.